Some Tuesday word vomit because I’m frustrated. You’re welcome.
It’s no secret that I should own property on the fence line between those who are a part of the collegiate Greek system and those who are not. I’ve wrestled with myself time and time again about the limitations and stereotypes often imposed by the culture, but remain a member for the philanthropic, social, and leadership opportunities my chapter provides. At its core, a sorority is an organization that brings women of all walks of life* together for a common purpose to support one another throughout college and throughout life in every sense of the word – academic, emotional, physical, professional, social, etc. A chapter provides women with internal and external leadership roles that are to instill confidence in each member that can be reflected in her personal and professional lives. Furthermore, the chapter should support a member’s ambitions, and do everything within its power to lift up members at their weakest, and to praise their accomplishments at their collegiate zenith.
We live in a society where the generalized overarching feminist goal is to defeat the patriarchy and to strive for equality of the sexes and genders that inadvertently still upholds rigid social norms and limiting binaries. While I have been limited by and fallen victim to “the patriarchy”, I find more often than not that I am made to feel uncomfortable, unworthy, unattractive, unintelligent, or just plan uncool by other women. It’s a vicious cycle – the assumed heteronormativity of our present, Western society puts women in an imagined competition for men. In ways, many ways, this conflict is perpetuated by men who control major media networks and channels that espouse specific body images, limited racial diversity, and only 2 sexualities. When women are continuously exposed to body and sexuality shaming images, they internalize this false fault within themselves and it translates to a decrease in confidence, increased competition for superficial characteristics, and diminished ambition. Sororities, in turn, should be a safe haven for women in the sense that a chapter should praise uniqueness, individuality, and difference.
*It would be a far cry from the truth to say that every chapter across the country brings together women from all walks of life. Every woman has unique experiences and pasts, but overall demographics, image, socioeconomic standing, and more may be similar if not nearly identical simply by way of geography, access, and familial and social support. Such facts bring me to finally comment on the uproar surrounding sorority recruitment videos sparked by Alabama’s decision to remove the promotional video created by the Beta Mu chapter of Alpha Phi. Alabama is widely known and makes no attempt to hide the ever-growing competition to receive a sorority bid on their campus, the lavish houses in which most chapters reside, and the overall stigma of what it means to be Greek in the deep South. The recruitment video, which has been circulated and watched countless times since its advent and subsequent swift removal, is quite literally what I expect to see when I think of a stereotypical and clichéd sorority recruitment video. There is no talking – merely images and videos of genuinely beautiful girls dancing around, hanging out, blowing glitter, etc. It’s also very easy to recognize the similarities in the appearances that parallel societal beauty norms and espouse a general “lack of diversity”.
The reality is that you probably shouldn’t fault the actual women in the video – critiquing their bodies, their membership, and their overall appearance does not address the root of the problem and further supports the stigma of who can and cannot be called a “real woman”; you don’t know anything about the women in the video just by watching aside from appearances and assumptions. An appropriate problem to tackle could be the lack of depth portrayed in the video, and the omittance of academic, professional, or other leadership promotion. The question that should be addressed, rather than saying this video (and others like it) is worse for women than the narrow-minded, discriminating individual running for president, is why does the Greek system and why do Panhellenic sororities primarily appeal to women of one limited overarching demographic? What policies are in place that make some women feel welcome, and cause others to drop before initiation? The issue lies within the attitudes of women towards other women and an unhealthy sense of competition fostered within the system.
“There is also no “safe” or comfortable way to discuss internal problems”
There is a profound difference between upholding tradition and policing bodies. There is also no “safe” or comfortable way to discuss internal problems when there are members who would fight to death to defend this system. When we critique the dress, body type, hair, makeup, and more of an individual, we are applying socially learned beauty norms as the basis of that criticism. Ironically enough, sororities strip down individuality during the recruitment process in order to find members who would “fit in” and mesh well with that chapter. It’s quite the paradox that we must all wear the same thing to be able to talk about our idiosyncracies, interests, passions, and more. Chapters do, in fact, police bodies when the required apparel makes a member uncomfortable or is “unflattering” by social constructions – judgment is imposed upon that individual that cuts her confidence and may actually contribute to a weaker recruitment. I have always been proud of my chapter for defeating stereotypes internally, and continuously supporting academics above all else. It is when my chapter, among numerous others, encourages conformity and stifles individuality for the sake of achieving a desired social status that I find it challenging to bite my tongue. This competition causes valuable members to lose sight of the core purpose of their chapter, and worse, creates opportunities for members with less access (be it technological, financial, etc.) or socially undervalued body types and features to slip through the cracks, shy away from leadership positions, and leave the chapter entirely. If chapters were concerned about retention, they would ensure that every member was supported for her unique interests and skills, allow women to dress their bodies in ways they are most comfortable and confident, and equally back members’ ambitions. Who (or what) is to blame?
I should comment that the individuals who made the Alabama APhi video are keenly aware of the appeal of the video they put together, and how it could make a naive and eager freshman entering recruitment show interest in this seemingly carefree (and purely social) chapter. It’s an advertisement. It doesn’t have to be fully inclusive, nor does it have to reflect all features of membership and every individual in the chapter. It doesn’t have to; morality and inclusivity would argue that it should, but that is a problem immensely larger than one sorority chapter. Stigmas (and realities) of the Greek system can be challenged by videos, words, actions, campaigns, and more with the potential to go viral such as the APhi segment, but the authority to initiate change is not attainable for all who might be invested in this cause; all members are not being marginalized by the institution because their demographics are largely represented within the system. It is much easier to chug along than to rock the boat. How does one voice address institutionalized marginalization?
What are your thoughts?
